Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
