UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
