belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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