walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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