I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
