I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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