she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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