whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Randomize
