why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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