Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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