Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize
