I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Green mimosas i think yes
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Randomize
