Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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