Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
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