I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
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