its not stalking. its research.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Randomize
