I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Randomize
