I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
