Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
