I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Randomize
