D3 body, D1 cock
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
