my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Randomize
