Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Randomize
