I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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