Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
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