Christians are straight up FREAKS
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
