He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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