no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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