bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Randomize
