been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
They have beer where we have blood.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
