So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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