So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
