I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
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