Define "chronic" masturbator.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize