I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
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