i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
