last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
