You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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