Porn is love you can see.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize