he wants to bone in the snuggie
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Randomize
