Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
