Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
