just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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