Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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