how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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