that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize