Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize