Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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