is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
