I wannas sexs uuuuu
Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
