Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
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