I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize