Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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