Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
