This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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