i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
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