Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
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