winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
