Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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