so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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