I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
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