yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
It's shark week go big or go home
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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