I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
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