apparently the secret to your success is patron
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
