does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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